3 Types of Writers to Stay Away From

How many times have you come across a blog post which you thought deserved the award for the crappiest article/blogpost? It is one of those times, when you visit a blog thinking “This should be a nice read”, but end up swearing “Why the freaking bejezuz did I spend my time on that article, it was so crappy!” The internet has become a benevolent place to find help on almost every topic, right from ‘how to knot the tie’ to ‘how to spank the bai’ 😉 But it is also true that since most of these articles are written by amateurs, the quality has gone for a toss. In this post, I try to explore, the 3 types of writers to stay away from.

Bad Writing: Source – Chronicle.com

The first kind are those writers who write just to get that much needed SEO juice for websites and blogs. These writers do not have any formal qualification in English. They are home-grown or rather in this case office-grown writers who have written on a variety of SEO driven topics for their companies or blogs. Usually, these articles focus on specific keywords or search phrases and hence make no sense at all. They just keep on revolving around the keyword and never ever make a wee bit of attempt to understand the fact that real humans too read articles apart from search engines. For example, a person writing on ‘how to spank the bai’ will use the keywords “spank the bai”, “how to spank the bai”, “spank kaamwaali bai” and so on. Thus, that person’s entire efforts goes into writing the words “spank the bai” at least 20 times in a 150 word article.

The second kinds are those who get their basics wrong. These writers have little to no skill in writing English and write sentences after converting them from their native language (which is usually Hindi, Tamil etc) to English. So, “Maine aaj CST ka train pakda” usually becomes “Today I catched the train to CST” rather than “I took the train to CST today”. It is a classic example of Hindi to English conversion. I am not saying that it is a mortal sin, but think about it; If a person with good communication skills, and intellect were to hear this, then he/she would burst out laughing! First of all, there is no such word as “catched” (in case you missed it). The proper word here is either caught or took. Just like every language has got its own grammatical nuances, English too has a wide variety of its own. However, if you fall in the above category, then do not feel bad. A majority of people in developing countries talk like this and it is nothing to be ashamed of, unless you are interacting with people globally. There are many websites which offer free English speaking tips and advice and are delivered right to your email in-boxes. I use a handy website known as DailyWritingTips.com to help me out with my writing skills and technique. Try it out if you want.

The third are those kinds who have an amazing article title or book title, but the article itself does not make any sense! I have come across many such articles over the Internet, but the Banana Republic Award has to go to Meera Nanda for writing the book The God Market. I have never ever read such a crapworthy book. You might remember that I had reviewed one of the best crappiest books ever to be written here, but this one takes the cake! I literally tore the book and used it to light fire during one of my camping trips (and there was no shortage of petrol or kerosene to burn either!). The thing about such out of context articles/books is that they work on the concept of attracting readers towards them, but do not have enough substance to hold on to. And, since nowadays anyone and everyone can write an article or a blogpost, it really is disturbing to see that people miss out on a very important aspect called as ‘engaging the reader’.

Have you come across such posts/articles? Or, are there any other ‘types’ of authors you wish would take a hike?